Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
