Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think i got beer on your cat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
