Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize