they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
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