Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
