Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
