Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just cropdusted the office
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
