pedialite and red bull = repair kit
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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