I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
