how can u be prego again
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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