Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize