you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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