If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
