I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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