i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
NoShamevember. You game?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"