Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.

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  (914): this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again. http://tfl.nu/zwji
  Replies (5) Good night (2501) Bad night (746)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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  (610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs
  Replies (38) Good night (5451) Bad night (854)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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  (604): I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous? (778): Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely. (604): Ohh that happened after I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/giil
  Replies (14) Good night (1064) Bad night (4547)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar

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  (913): we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar http://tfl.nu/z6em
  Replies (14) Good night (4285) Bad night (907)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

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  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (35) Good night (1458) Bad night (14161)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them

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  (201): I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them http://tfl.nu/szer
  Replies (14) Good night (2581) Bad night (6591)
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  (818): View more from California

  What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?

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  (818): What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction? http://tfl.nu/asxf
  Replies (17) Good night (947) Bad night (5146)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot

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  (859): when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot http://tfl.nu/j6dz
  Replies (4) Good night (1669) Bad night (640)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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  (610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1
  Replies (20) Good night (3708) Bad night (821)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

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  (412): I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night http://tfl.nu/c70m
  Replies (30) Good night (2526) Bad night (1399)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.

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  (+44): You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever. http://tfl.nu/s134
  Replies (12) Good night (924) Bad night (2497)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice

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  (607): I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice http://tfl.nu/kf5f
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (700)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?

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  (616): your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial? http://tfl.nu/h7zs
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (370)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.

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  (508): I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong. http://tfl.nu/uti0
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (293)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.

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  (312): Adulthood is making your own puke bucket. http://tfl.nu/iq4c
  Replies (0) Good night (215) Bad night (250)

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