I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
