Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?