Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

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(865): i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone. (865): the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now" (865): this medicine is soooo good. http://tfl.nu/gt3j

Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (483)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

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(985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with. http://tfl.nu/8rek

Replies (43) Good night (4817) Bad night (891)
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(214): View more from Texas

My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

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(214): My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night. http://tfl.nu/bjzh

Replies (20) Good night (6918) Bad night (1103)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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(507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x

Replies (7) Good night (3679) Bad night (770)
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(419): View more from Ohio

She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye

(319): View more from Iowa

Wasn't she moving abroad?

(419): View more from Ohio

Are you really going to debate this?

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(419): She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye (319): Wasn't she moving abroad? (419): Are you really going to debate this? http://tfl.nu/djv0

Replies (85) Good night (1616) Bad night (5526)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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(651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp

Replies (16) Good night (4278) Bad night (664)
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(646): View more from New York

I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

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(646): I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night http://tfl.nu/kb2l

Replies (5) Good night (4160) Bad night (804)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

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(919): He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/o436

Replies (8) Good night (882) Bad night (2366)
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(260): View more from Indiana

Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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(260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z

Replies (2) Good night (1843) Bad night (893)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?

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(701): Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard? http://tfl.nu/5yc2

Replies (5) Good night (1297) Bad night (1130)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body

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(973): casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body http://tfl.nu/5oad

Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (812)
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(956): View more from Texas

I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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(956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9

Replies (5) Good night (1177) Bad night (385)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised

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(719): I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised http://tfl.nu/0hc3

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (303)
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(905): View more from Ontario

Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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(905): Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good! http://tfl.nu/hwch

Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (438)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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(651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z

Replies (0) Good night (375) Bad night (638)

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