Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize