we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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