Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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