I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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