A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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