i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize