i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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