I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
