he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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