My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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