you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
