Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
