I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
