Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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