don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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