Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize