my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize