That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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