Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
