Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just found puke in my bra..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
