I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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