Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
