We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
