we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
