I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize