he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
