Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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