Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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