I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
