is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
