Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
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the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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