All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize