Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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