this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
