you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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