This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
