He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
