it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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