I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize