what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
