I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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