The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
