my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
