it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
