epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The adults are the big ones right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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